Homonym
by rockgodsdoitbetter
Summary: Ron has been in love with his best friend for as long as he can remember. Listen to him angst.


**Title:** Homonym  
**Pairing:** Ron/Harry  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings** This is the last time you will see me say it is unbetaed for a while. I think I found a beta. Now I remember why I never wrote Ron/Hermione even when it was my OTP!1!11! Tell me what you think. Unrequited love angst.  
**Words:** 825  
**Disclaimer** I do not own them. Or anything from the Harry Potter books. I have no intent to make any money from this.  
**Summery:** Ron has been in love with his best friend for as long as he can remember. Listen to him angst.  
**Note:**. Okay. I don't ship Ron/Harry. I just never have. I have read about three Ron/Harry stories in my lifetime. I have no idea where this came from. I also hate unrequited love angst. This just randomly started coming out of my pen. I was kind of scared. Don't ask. I wish I had a friend who shipped R/H so I could say it was for them, but I don't. Any volunteers?

Homonym

Ron Weasley is in love with his best friend. It scares him, but he has been for years now. He doesn't remember exactly when this first happened. It is just a feeling that has always been there, for as long as he can remember. It took him a while before he figured out it was love. In the beginning, it was just a feeling of attachment and possession. This was normal though. That's what friends are supposed to feel. It never struck him as odd that he had this need to protect Harry, or that he was lonely without him. Then the feelings escalated. Ron had just ignored the fact that his feelings were verging on obsessive.

Ron thinks the first time he realized he was in love was in the fourth year. It was after the first task. He and Harry had been fighting. Harry cast him a forgiving smile, and in that moment, he knew. He was in deep. He wouldn't accept in until a year later.

Ron knows and accepts now that he is in love with Harry. It's part of him now, just like he knows and accepts that Harry will never love him back. Ron has known this for almost as long as he has known he is in love. It used to break his heart everyday. These days it is more of a dull ache. Of course, there are moments that he still hopes. There are moments where he will let his imagination take control for a few seconds. There's nothing wrong with this. After all, how could man go on without hope? It takes a lot for Ron to let go of these fleeting fantasies and pull away his hand or break their gaze.

Harry Potter is smart in a lot of ways. Feelings aren't one of them. Not that Ron is claiming to be a genius. It is quite the opposite. It's just; Ron thinks Harry would have figured it out by now. It is painfully obvious to Ron. It's not like Ron wants him to know. He only thinks Harry might be more sensitive if he knew. Then again, if he knew, Ron may never see him again. This is Ron's biggest fear. Loosing Harry because he couldn't control himself for one second.

Now, Ron his trying so hard to restrain himself he is practically pushing himself off the couch. Harry is whispering. Ron can barely hear him he is concentrating so hard on ignoring Harry's leg against his own. Harry leans into him. Ron shudders and gasps.

"Ron," he hisses, "I'm so scared."

Ron relaxes and melts into Harry's touch. "I know. Me too." Ron relishes the closeness. He shuts his eyes, and just for one instant, he pretends they are together. That this embrace isn't just a convenient comfort. That it isn't only a hug to soothe fear and death away. His eyes bolt open. He almost immediately feels guilty for taking advantage of his friends weakened state. Ron loosens his grip on Harry.

"I don't want to die." Harry mutters into Ron's elbow. Ron freezes. He knows Harry doesn't normally talk like this. In fact, he avoids talking about the war or his destiny.

"I don't want you to die either."

"What if I die tomorrow? There are so many things I should have done. Things I should of said." Harry is looking at Ron with fear that could be mistaken for intensity. Ron's brain leaps into momentary hope.

"Maybe I should just tell you some things," Harry begins.

"Harry, you aren't going to die tomorrow," Ron protest, even though he is practically being raised off the couch by anticipation.

"Well, maybe I will. I know this is kind of awkward. But, I love you, Ron." Ron's mouth opens in shock. For years, he has wished these words would come out of his friend's mouth. He is about to respond when Harry continues.

"You are my best-friend. You've been so good to me. You are, like, better than a brother. Thank you. For that. I just needed to tell you that. You know, in case."

"I love you too." Ron says, biting back tears. Ron closes his eyes to regain composure. He moves his hand to Harry's face. "You won't die tomorrow, Harry." He looks down at Harry. Then he knows he has revealed everything. Years of carefully hiding his feelings have gone to waste. One look, and all secrecy is gone. Ron can tell also by looking by Harry's small flinch that he was right. Harry will never be able to love him back. Not in the same sense of the word.

"Uh—Ron. I should try to… sleep."

Ron covers his face with his hands as Harry walks away. His worst fear is coming true. He has lost his best friend forever. It is just the same as Harry dying tomorrow. In that moment, Ron thinks it might even be worse.


End file.
